And You Wonder What It Means
by SisteroftheSand
Summary: The dreams are reacurring. Nights without her we're getting harder. Life was getting harder with her missing presence. "She'll be back soon, and hopefully we can talk about it." (Takes place a few years after Kakashi was Hokage.)
1. Prologue

Her blonde hair was out of sight for him, but in the sight of others in her homeland. She was expected to return after 3 weeks but figured a day or two along with a solid vindication could come in handy.

They had spent their last hours communicating about work and political matters that any other "normal" couple wouldn't typically play. They were an odd, yet tasteful couple to witness from another's eye but the two didn't see it within themselves. What other people believed was romantic, those two took it as just a friendly gesture or something out of kindness. That's why no one was on the same page.

They had been involved with each other for approximately over half a year now and not one of them had ever made one move. Not a kiss, not a hug, not a touch whatsoever, mind you, there wasn't even an implication of there ever being anything more than what they already enjoyed, which just looked to be like a truly close friendship.

There had been no physical nor visible indication from either of them as to why they never displayed any romantic affection towards one another like a "normal" couple. Despite that, that didn't mean that the two didn't have it masked inside their own heads without the other knowing.

One thing was for sure;

Shikamaru has those thoughts so underneath his conscious mind that when she's not there, it's all he can shovel up and focus on. Questioning what he was without her. Why is it that one human, one woman, and this woman in particular, can change his point of view on not only himself, but his entire life. Sounding like a cliché? Sounding predictable? Their "love was nowhere near those words. Confusing was just the beginning.

"Ah, this is so troublesome."

* * *

This is only a prologue and I'm just putting this out there but I'm not sure if I should continue it. I wrote this a long time ago and was unsure of posting it but I did it anyway and now I'm wondering if this should continue but if you like it and would like me to continue, you can review and tell me whether to or not but if not, I might end up taking it down.


	2. Feelings Before Logic

"I guess, I'll see you soon."

Those words were her last before she departed from the village. Those words stayed with him like a bad memory, although it wasn't. It wasn't at all. Now he just had to wait a few weeks until they were spoken once more before her egress, leaving their relationship on hiatus till then. They both knew they couldn't achieve the full potential of a real dating relationship, not until someone made the effort to move, but neither wasn't thinking of any notions like such just yet.

A 6 month relationship was successful thus far, but they couldn't fancy up a purpose why it would end short in any case. They had been going steady, minus the fact of knowing themselves being that their first genuine date was just like any other time they had went out, talking about anything work related. There were mentions of her brothers and his classmates but to an extent. Their central focus, the Chunin Selection Exams and the Shinobi Union. Other than that, they didn't really have the time to let in anything personal but their personal opinions. Even though things between them were stated official, there wasn't a dissimilarity. Sure, Shikamaru happened to be dumbfounded by her appearances, periodically stuttered and blanked out now and again whilst Temari would go red in the face and shy away from looking directly at him when he watched her, prattling or not. But other than that, it was no different then what they already had.

They thought.

The two of them had knowledge that they were detecting impotence enclosed in themselves because their fondness for one another we're real and living out in the open but their uncompromisingness made it difficult to confess vocally, let alone, outsiders even if they had a clue by their bearings.

There had been times, for example, when the two of them went with others to eat or just stroll around town with. Choji and Ino had been witnesses of their colorful conduct. It was quite cute to observe them. With others around, they could be known as the princess and the dork being that she certainly did show her more feminine ways with Shikamaru while he ran on this silly, stammer machine. His teammates would occasionally whisper to each other every possibility they thought had without the couple having any hunches, subsequently swiftly give ground like they hadn't said a word to one another. Even when they believed they were being extremely cautious and careful, the were still unsuccessful, at times. Shikamaru distinguished, it wasn't obvious but it wasn't low-key either. He was almost certain Temari would notice too since they are both very good observers themselves.

Yesterday was one of those days, before she left.

* * *

It was just the four of them, sitting in the booth they did in the old days. Three of them could never disremember. One associate was to be missed. Asuma. As much as he was missed, Asuma was watching over them, they believed so. Even in this very moment, he was smiling at them, still having connections with each other in this shinobi world and moving on, reaching out and protecting and caring for others. The Will of Fire. The will to protect others, substantially the young. They had it branded by not only their forehead protectors but within themselves. Even if she didn't live in the Land of Fire, Temari still protected the young in her village. There was no specified name for it, it was just care. In the Land of Wind, if you had an ounce of consideration and care, you were different, but in a good she felt. In Suna, citizens lived in a habitat where things were more severe than in Konoha. They view Konoha as weak but there weren't weak, it was their care and consideration for others that made them appear weak. Weak in emotion, strong in power. They weren't to be underrated.

"It's been three weeks already, huh? We're sad to hear you leave so soon Temari-san."

"Yeah, can't you stay a little longer?" Choji glumly persuaded.

"I'm sure Shikamaru wouldn't mind." Ino smirked and arched her eyebrow.

Shikamaru's cheeks began to burn slightly insisting it was because the bright sun was hitting it from glaring out the window for so long.

"I'm afraid, I can't stay any longer. As it is now, I was suppose to be on my way yesterday but I stayed because-"

"We were working on a few things for the upcoming Chunin Exams." Shikamaru stole the words out of her mouth. He knew why he let her stay, but he didn't want her to inform them. Cutting her off was rather churlish, but it was the only way to converse to her it was a confidential.

"Y-yeah..." Temari let go of a desolated sigh, restraining her eyes from returning straight in front of her. Choji's eyes were still smiling and Ino was rolling her eyes in sarcasm.

"Oh, sure you were." She breathily laughed

"Ino, maybe you shouldn't tease them. They already seem a bit uncomfortable." It was quite obvious but, as to why Ino didn't see it, was an enigma or maybe she was blatantly disregarding it. Temari couldn't stop staring at her fidgeting fingers and Shikamaru wouldn't so much as look at anyone, he just relentlessly stared out the glass, trying to avoid conversation.

"Oh c'mon you two, stop being so shy around each other. You aren't normally like this. What's got you two so distracted? Did something happen?" The young woman questioned, finally catching on. There was undeniably something wrong. Ordinarily, they would talk every so often but this...wasn't them.

"Nothing happened..." They both countered in unison, glaring the two right the eyes for a second.

"Hmm, is it because your leaving? Is that why you two are upset?" Temari raised her chin from her palm and peeked at Shikamaru to see if he would react, if not she'd gladly answer for him. Once a few seconds of silence, she shook her head at Ino.

Ino made an "oh.." with her mouth and leaned back into the booth unhurriedly. For Shikamaru, expounding his feelings isn't the simplest thing. He keeps them persevered for no one to percieve. That's why it was seemingly endless for the two to establish a relationship. It's what's called Skinny Love; when two people love each other but are too shy to admit, yet still show it. Whether it was out of shyness and/or stubbornness.

Ino gaped blankly at the wooden table, thinking of her next words, her next move. It was an awkward quietness and if she were to speak any further of it, it would make Shikamaru agitated.

Shoving Choji's shoulder to let her get out from the inside, he slid out and stood until Ino removed herself from the seat and by surprise, dragging him behind her.

"Ino, what are you-?"

"Shhh!"

"Where are you two going?" Shikamaru spoke up. His head still faced towards the window but his eyes rolling towards the leaving individuals.

"Um, well, Choji and I have some errands to run. Choza wanted him to do some things and-

"But-" Raspingly, Choji was forced to stop short by a heavy pressing heel digging into the flesh of his toes and shut his mouth almost immediately. A quiet but painful message for him to lock it up.

Glad he got the message.

"-Choji asked for my help with them and it just came to mind. So, we better get going before Choza suspects something wrong. Well, catch up with you two later." That's when they bolted out the door. As soon as the outside air came into tact, Choji halted and forced his heels in the dirt, tugging Ino back.

"Why are we leaving?"

"Shikamaru is upset that Temari is leaving and I think they need some time to talk to each other alone and what better way than to leave and give them their privacy before she leaves. Besides, I know I invited them out but...I didn't have enough money to pay the bill." Those words were said so quick, Choji had a hard time catching them. "Now, let's go!" And with that, the tugging at his arm recommenced without so much resistance this time around.

It was a smart idea of them to run the other way so that Shikamaru hardly saw them, but with a little effort Shikamaru was able to catch sight of them.

"Tch..." There were many signs that it was a fib. First and foremost, what could Ino be needed for exactly? With his structure, what's something that Choji couldn't handle on his own. Secondly, Shikamaru saw the struggle and resistance he was using against his comrade. Lastly, the thump and crunch of Choji's toes was painfully audible, if it wasn't a lie there was no reason for it to happen.

Now with a remainder of two, there was nothing to speak about, she knew how he felt without him having to mention it. Each time, she left he would become a little sadder each last day.

"Listen, I know you're upset but this a little unreasonable, don't you think?" He faced her with his cold brown eyes. She knew he'd rather not talk about it but it was a situation that was bound to happen now.

"I know I haven't told you much, but I'm sure you already know. I don't like the idea of you leaving. Every time you come it feels like the weeks get shorter and shorter." That was certainly understandable. She felt it too. Weeks were reserved for work and work only. They didn't have time to really "date". They went on a couple dates here and there but it was like any other time they had went out. Political conversation. Their time spent alone was for the sake of others, no wonder why weeks only felt like a single week, if that.

Truthfully, his time spent looking out the windows was his time contemplating if things with them are going to work out in the long run. With only her in Konoha for three weeks every other month for the Chunin Exams and them meeting up at The Land of Snow for Shinobi Union conferences, was that enough time for them to be satisfied. He was willing to make it work, that's why he asked her out first, but was she willing to make it work? There was a heavy chance that she would be on board - no that was a definite. If not, feelings wouldn't have been there. Not feelings like " I would like to see you." Feelings of "I need to see you" or "I want to see you." That's exactly what they felt they needed but was it possible to happen was the issue.

"I understand but, I have a village of my own I have to return to." It had surprised her being that that was the first time she's ever seen him use feeling before logic. He was speaking from the heart and she appreciated it, but things were to stay how they were between Konoha and Suna. Between Shikamaru and Temari. Things were just different and that how it was to stay. For now at least.

"Here's your check." The waitress planted the check on the table with a soft smile and soon walked away without another look. Temari's mouth twisted in distress, recognizing they were left to pay even though they were supposed to be treated out. Slick move. She started to reach into her pocket to pay but Shikamaru had already put the money on table motioning for her to step out.

* * *

They walked around for a few more hours until the last stop was the village gates. It was time for her departure. Black had covered the sky with bright lights to make it appear navy. The moonlight casting over Konoha.

The two had stopped, both facing the black forest ahead.

"Thanks..."

"No problem" He was going to miss her. A month was a while until they saw each other again.

"...About earlier, I-I um..."

"It's fine." She turned to him. "Like I said, I understand." A smile had came across her face. Not because of happiness, but from sympathy. She truly did understand being that the feeling was mutual.

The air felt like it was choking her from the tension but she let it pass with heavy sigh full of determination and a sprinkle of happiness.

"I guess, I'll see you soon." She said with a bright smile. A genuine smile that was just as bright as the moon.

"Yeah...see you soon." With that, she walked forward, and didn't look back until she knew he was walking the opposite way.

* * *

Please review for continuation, that way I know I'm doing okay. Thanks


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